Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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