He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So much Jack, so little girl.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
