I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
