...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
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We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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