I'm going to jail i love you
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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