Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
