were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize