but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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