How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize