somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
