i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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