Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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