theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
