Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
