Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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