So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
