you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
