I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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