So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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