dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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