Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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