I wanna passion pit in your ass
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
