I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I AM VODKA MAN
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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