Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
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