I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize