i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
