if you like me you must not know who I am
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
