The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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