she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
