she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
