and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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