Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
