I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
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There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
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He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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