oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
