Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize