he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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