when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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