he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
