when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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