Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
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Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
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I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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