I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
