If that was your dad, he is hot
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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