Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize