Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
