i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize