I'll bet she douches with gravy.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize