My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
