on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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