he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
