shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
