porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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