Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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