i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
