You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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