I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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