guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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