you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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