dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
