god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
