...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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