12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
