is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
