But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
